Week Three: Revision

Last Friday in my cooperating teacher's classroom, the 9th graders were working on their first revision of their papers on To Kill a Mockingbird. I thought the topic of the paper was pretty intriguing--they were to choose one of the statements from the "Anticipatory Guide" they'd completed before reading the book (we saw an example of this in Gallagher's Deeper Reading; the list of statements included "All people are created equal" and "If someone insults you, you should find with your head, not with your hands"). The thesis of the paper was to state their position on one of the statements, then use evidence from history, personal experience and the novel to support that position.

I observed the day the class was completing peer revision. In pairs, they were to read each other's papers and essentially go though a checklist that identified the required parts of the paper. For example, their partner had to answer "Does the paper have an original, thought provoking opening? Yes or No" and "Briefly summarize the author's evidence for his or her position." From what I could tell, the students did a pretty nice job working independently on this, and I heard a lot of discussions about improving each others' paper.

My cooperating teacher made it known that I was there to help conference students individually, so I got to read quite a few student papers. A few observations:

1. While I agree it's important for students to understand transitional phrases, I would under no circumstances simply give students a list of transitional phrases to use (i.e. Consequently, Furthermore, In summary, etc.) and require that one be present at the beginning of each paragraph. I witnessed the most ridiculous usage problems, and it negates the idea that there are more sophisticated ways to transition from idea to idea than simply tacking on a "Most importantly" in paragraph one. A simple "My personal experience also supports my position that killing is wrong" is a much more logical transition.
2. I agree with both Atwell and Gallagher, who argue that revision needs to be separate from editing. Many students were so busy looking for places to insert commas that they completely missed that a student really hadn't taken a position on the issue at all. I did like that my cooperating teacher made the peer restate both the thesis and the evidence back to the student, which hopefully was enough to show students whether their position was clear.
3. I couldn't agree more with the Harper article, as well as the premise of Mechanically Inclined, which argue for offering students specific tools to use during revising and editing. I sensed that my vague commentary would be lost on students if I didn't give them something specific to DO (for example, the Snapshot activity described). I also found that the blanket direction of "edit" was incredibly overwhelming. One boy asked for my help revising his partner's paper, so we sat down and did it together (modelling helps, let me tell you!). During the editing process, I said "First, look that every time your partner asks a question, he uses a question mark" because it was something I had noticed. Breaking the task of "editing" down seemed to help him a lot, especially since he was more than able to recognize a question in his partner's writing. Kelly Gallagher's writing textbook reminds us that peer revision just doesn't work as well when it comes to editing because students just aren't as well versed in conventions as we need them to be to correct each other. He sends students to ask designated "student grammarians" (students he trusts to edit well) or to himself. Even Atwell admits to editing each of her students' papers herself.
4. I tried Atwell's suggestion of asking students to read their essays aloud, with a pencil in hand to mark errors they noticed themselves (one student especially liked this; "you'll ba good teacher, he said" Thanks, man). It's harder than you think not to correct everything you see or hear! This will definitely be something I have to work on. Can I listen carefully and send the students back with only one or two problems to consider? Next time, I will add Atwell's stipulation that you must come to me with a specific problem in mind (the writing center's motto, right Rick?).
   

All in all, the readings and my experiences in the last couple of weeks have taught me that teaching revision is rough going, and will take some practice on my part. But I've also found that I LOVE looking at student writing and hearing their unique voices, so at least the painful process of learning how to teach writing isn't complete torture.


RESOURCE LINK OF THE WEEK:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2008-11-10-NSSE-writing_N.htm
I wasn't sure if we were allowed to post news articles for the resource link, but I liked this one because it underscores Jessie's mantra of "writing is thinking." Looking for a way to encourage critical thinking in the classroom? Make students write more and more thoughtfully, this study finds. I thought we might need a little encouragement of our craft as writing teachers from the fine people at USA Today.